For whom Christ died....

When I was in my early twenties, I had a revelation about interacting with people.  That revelation was this: just because something someone did was irritating to me or was awkward... didn't mean I had a right to treat them however I wanted.  It didn't even mean there was really anything they were doing that was wrong!  Now, looking that thought over, some of you may think "duh" or "well of course," even I'm thinking that!  After all, I had heard similar statements before and verbally professed agreement with them.  I had never been a bully growing up, nor had I been part of any sort of "exclusive" social group, despite being both a jock/musician/nerd in high school.  Nonetheless... I cannot help but think that I have often in the past lived in disagreement with this, and I see others do this all the time, no matter if they're children or past retirement.  If you're honest with yourself, I think you'll agree you've lived in contradiction to this statement, too, despite your best intentions.  Now how so?

Think of that guy or girl in high school.  You know the one.  They weren't necessarily disliked by anyone... but nor were they really anyone's friend.  They tended to sit by themselves or hang onto the fringes of a social group that they weren't really a part of.  They may have not showered as much as they should; they may have been physically awkward or uncoordinated; they may have been overly talkative about anything and everything or just about that one thing that no one else cared about.  They may have seemed slightly immature for their age; they may have dressed in a way that was very "uncool" or simply unflattering.  Maybe they just had a habit or way or functioning that irritated you.  Whatever the reason, when you got into a conversation with them, one of two things happened:

1. You listened politely, all the while squirming inside, trying to find a way out of the conversation, not really caring what the person said.  If you saw them coming, you would try to find a way to avoid them so you would have to endure spending time with them. Or:
2. The way they talked or acted rapidly irritated you, so you would endure them or get snappish with them until you could get rid of them, then talked with others about how irritating they were and how you couldn't understand why they acted the way they did.

But, if you reflect honestly back on this person's actions, ask yourselves this: is there really anything they said or did that was inherently wrong?  Or were you choosing not to like someone simply because they were outside your comfort zone or sucked at socializing?  I hate to admit that oftentimes I have not spent the time on someone simply because they were socially awkward or inept.  I have subconsciously labeled them as not worth my attention because they didn't fit the picture my society has built in me of how a person should behave and talk.

What does the Bible say about this?  In Romans 12:16(NIV), the Apostle Paul writes, "Live in harmony with one another.  Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited."  But the Bible does not stop there.  Our society can concede to this concept at some level.  Of course we should treat people with respect and not judge them just because they're "different."  That's intolerance!

The Bible takes it a step further: 

"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to what is honorable in the sight of all.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengence is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'  To the contrary, 'if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing so you will heap burning coals on his head.'  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." 

(Romans 12:17-21)

Did you read that?  

"Repay no one evil for evil."

"So far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

"Never avenge yourselves."

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink."

"Overcome evil with good."

So we're not just talking about befriending the socially rejected kid.  We're talking about treating well:

1. The guy that accelerates so you can't change lanes in traffic and causes you to miss your turn.
2. The woman constantly accelerating and decelerating in front of you because she's too busy on her cell phone.
3. The girl who spreads gossip about you until everyone in the school knows your embarrassing secret.
4. The girlfriend or boyfriend who has betrayed your trust.
5. The parent who has chosen their career or other things over you or your family.

Wow!  These are hard things!!  How are we to do all this?  Philippians 2:13(NIV) says, "it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."  You are made able to do all this because GOD HIMSELF is working in your heart to make you capable of desiring to do what He has called you to.  He has not given us this incredibly difficult calling in a vacuum and then left us to figure out how to make it work. Rather, He sent Jesus to actually SHOW us how the Christian life is to be lived:

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,

    did not consider equality with God  something to be grasped,

 

but made himself nothing,

    taking the very nature of a servant,

    being made in human likeness.

 

And being found in appearance as a man,

    he humbled himself

    and became obedient to death—

        even death on a cross!"

(Philippians 2:5-8)

What is more, Paul wrote in Romans 8:9b(ESV), "The Spirit of God dwells in you."  He hasn't left you high and dry, trying to figure out how to emulate Christ, but He has actually entered into your heart to be present with you every day and help you "discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2b)  So when you face that socially awkward person, or that person who has genuinely hurt you... God is facing them with you, giving you the ability to treat them with kindness, no matter if they deserve it or not.

I close with this final note: this does not mean you have to be best friends with everyone you encounter.    Should you be inviting over for sleepovers people that hurt and abuse you emotionally?  That's not what this passage is asking.  Instead, the passage is telling us that no matter how others treat us, we have a choice to treat them better than they treat us.  If someone treats you disrespectfully, confront them on it!  But when you do it, do it with kindness and respect.  No insults, no cut-downs, just truth, remembering always that they, like you, are someone for whom Christ died.