Fraidy cat....

Uncertainty.... uncertainty seems to constantly define our lives, and if we are honest with ourselves, ultimately moves us through life in constant fear responses that attempt to guard us from the threat of the unknown.  I was told once the stock market is run by "fear and greed."  If people fear something bad will happen with the market, they pull out, and actually make something bad happen in the stock market that may not have been that bad if they had stuck it out.  And that's just a fear of material loss.  There are fears we act on that are much deeper... and so much more destructive.  These are the fears of what could happen in our lives... fears of failure.  I fear I will not be accepted to the ivy league college I really want to go to.  Instead of facing that fear, I run and apply to other colleges.  I fear I won't be able to afford a college I really want to go to, so I don't even apply or only apply for ones I know for sure I can afford.  I don't try out for a sports team because I know it's really competitive and I fear I won't make it and can't bear the thought of that failure.  I fear the person I'm attracted to will turn me down, so instead of speaking up or spending time with that person, I stand silent as they pass me by.  I know a class will be difficult, so rather than trying and perhaps finding out I can't do really well in that class, I give up all together because it's better to fail when I know I'm not giving my all than do the best I can and discover I still can't make it.  I know what I believe about God, but I'm afraid to share or speak up because I don't want to be judged as "intolerant" or face questions I can't answer, so I let life-saving opportunities to share the love of God pass me by.

Most, or even all, of these fears are ones we have faced in our lives.  I know all of these are ones I have experienced myself... and at least once I have given into all of them.  As a Christian, I know that God "has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end" (Ecclesiastes 3:11).  Yet, I live with this finite perspective left over from the fall of men, where I think, "The length of our days is seventy years-- or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away" (Psalm 90:10).  I often live trying to reduce that trouble as much as I can, though I have "eternity set in [my] heart," and should have a perspective of how trouble now can mean joy later for me and even many beyond my lifetime.  

For example, I am what you would call a "second career" church worker.  I started out studying in a completely different field with a completely different set of life goals in mind.  By the time I realized I wanted to enter church work... I was a senior in college with a semester of school left.  I had already accumulated my school debt from studying abroad my junior year.  I was fully trained to enter the workforce, except for a few minor, core credit requirements I needed to complete my final semester.  The church work college I needed to go to was expensive, and there were essentially no scholarship opportunities available going into that program as a graduate student.  As a natural long-term planner (i.e., someone who deeply fears the unknown and attempts to plan their whole life before they enter high school), I was standing on the precipice.  Would I follow the fear... or the calling God had set before me?

In Psalm 77:19(NIV), the psalmist writes about God, "Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen."  The psalmist wrote this reflecting about when the Israelites left Egypt, a land in which they had been enslaved, and found themselves on the edge of the Red Sea with no way to cross.  Behind them came the entire Egyptian army at a time when Egypt was one of the premier world powers, and they were not coming with boats... they were coming with swords to destroy and enslave once more.  The Israelites were trapped.  Many of them reacted in fear.  God had promised to their ancestors He would be faithful to their descendants and had delivered them from the hand of Pharaoh, the most powerful man in the known world, with miracles they could not even have imagined... but that's hard to remember with a sword at your back and no way to escape.  What did God do?  He drove the waters apart to create a path to the other side of the Red Sea.

"Your path lead through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen."

How often in your life have you faced that, a moment of decision... when the "footprints" of God were unseen?  So many, I would guess... and if you're like me... there are so many ahead.  Yet, He is there, isn't He?  As the Israelites crossed between the parted sea, they were following a path God had opened for them.  As they traveled forward, behind them God stood as a pillar of fire, blocking the pursing Egyptians so they could not overcome the Israelites before they crossed.  Throughout their journeys in the desert, "the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.  Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people" (Exodus 13:21-22).  God never left His place in front of His people.  

And God never leaves His place with you, either.  Jesus said in Matthew 28:20(NIV), "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."  In Romans 8:9, it says that as a Christian, the "Spirit of God" lives in you, that He "leads" you... and the Spirit of God is not "not a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7).  So though, like through the waters, it may be that God's "footprints [are] not seen," don't live in fear.  He is there; He is guiding you, no matter how desperate the circumstances may seem.  The all-powerful creator of everything is actually living in you. And though, even when you face your fears you may still fail, remember this, "We know that in all things God works for the good of those wholove him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28.)