Dying to succeed....

When I was in high school - no... let's be honest - WHENEVER I was in school, I was one of those students.  You can pinpoint them a mile away: the walking-as-fast-as-I-can-without-running footsteps from class to class, the high-pitched anxiety voice at finals week, the dark circles under the eyes from studying into the night and getting up early, the has-no-social-life-because-over-committed schedule, and the over-analytical critique of every bit of homework or test returned with anything below an "A" written at the top.  That was me.  I remember lying in bed at night, unable to sleep because of my anxiety over a project that was coming due or an upcoming concert or sporting event that I wasn't convinced was perfected yet.  High school was even worse, as I climbed the "ladder of success" in the academic, music, and athletic worlds into which I immersed myself.  Looking back, I am admittedly proud of my accomplishments... but there's also a sense that I lost focus of those things that really matter, sometimes.

Now, what can I mean by that, you might wonder.  From the list above, it sounds like I was prioritizing all the right things.  It wasn't like I was spending time getting high or drunk or skipping classes to slum around town with friends.  But I've become more and more convinced that you can be doing "all the right things" and still be "missing the mark" of what really matters.  School, whether it was sports, music or academics, consumed my life back then.  I lost sleep over those things.  Those things were the focus of my life.  Yet, if we read Matthew 6:21&24(NIV):

 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also... No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

What does this passage have to do with school is probably your next question.  The word "money" in this passage is actually a Greek word that more directly translates "treasure."  The concept, then, is that you cannot serve both God and that which you treasure most highly.  When I was in high school and even college, as I said, my life REVOLVED around school and the success I felt I needed in order to move forward and be successful in life.  I was devoted to it.  I gave most of my time to it, my focus to it... even my health at times.  I was convinced that my future depended on my performance in school.  Do you see where I'm going?  I was trusting in academic/musical/athletic success to secure for myself a good future.  I should have been trusting God with that future, the God who died and lives for me, the God who created all things and is responsible for the continuation of all life in this universe, the God who has worked throughout history and every day in order to ensure that I will live eternally with Him. But I was trusting in myself, my success, and my hard work to take care of my future.  Within my own heart, I had dethroned the "King of Kings and Lord of Lords" (1 Timothy 6:15) and seated myself as Lord.

Now, I am not saying academic, musical, or athletic success are in-and-of-themselves bad things.  I'm not saying you shouldn't seek to do well in those God-pleasing pursuits you have committed to.  I am saying that we so easily put our trust in those things, in our ability to be successful in them because we so often buy into the expectations of this world that say we must be successful in these things to have a good life.  Remember that it is in God that we "live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28a) and it is Christ that "was given authority, glory and sovereign power"(Daniel 7:14a) over all times and peoples.  Rather than fretting over the things of this world, simply do what you are able, and remember this passage, which has been central in my faith walk since I was young:

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?   Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

-Matthew 6:25-34(NIV)