I would challenge you that no matter your circumstances, your life is chock full of blessing.
There it is; the gauntlet is on the ground. How can I possibly making such a sweeping statement when, you're right, I may not know you personally or be acquainted with those things that keep you up at night or too-readily pursue you into dismal dreams? I can say this with confidence because of Ecclesiastes 3:11, a passage I have often quoted, which states:
"God has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."(emphasis mine)
"God has made everything beautiful in its time." I've looked at the Hebrew in which this was written. Everything has no caveats, no exceptions. It literally means what it says: God has made ALL THINGS beautiful. Why is it past tense? Because God does not function inside our understanding of time. For Him, all things that have ever been or ever will be have been simultaneously known to Him since before the dawn of time. He Sees your misery and despair when people reject you again and again and again and you can't figure out why. He Sees your frustration and grief when you fail at the same things over and over again and can't seem to change them or yourself. He's there in the house with you when your mother or your father or your siblings don't love you the way they should and leave you broken inside.
But how can those things be beautiful; what can possibly undo what has been done? That's a difficult question, you're absolutely right. If we sat down together and you told me your circumstances... I probably wouldn't be able to give you a precise answer to what exactly about your particular circumstance is beautiful. It would probably tear my heart apart to hear what you're going through, to know how much you are hurting. But I can tell you this, we "cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." God is so much bigger and so much more powerful and so much more loving and caring and wise than all the wisdom and all the knowledge of all humanity has ever been or ever will be. We cannot grasp even a teaspoon of all that He is up to in the story of all humanity or even in your single life. But He is up to something.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28 (NIV)
In those horrible circumstances, God has promised to work, to be present, to turn those things that seem beyond redemption into something beautiful... something for your good and maybe the good of others far beyond yourself. Trust this promise, and all the promises, God has made. He is faithful to them; to you. This is the God who created all things in all the universe and then gave it to you to rule over (Psalm 8.) This is the God who did not spare His son, Jesus, but sent Him to this world to die the most gruesome, torturous death of the time period, in order to have a relationship with you (John 3:17).
My friend... whoever you are, whatever circumstances you are in... you have so much to be grateful for.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge." - Ephesians 3:17b-19a(NIV)