A God named Fluffy....

I have a lot of books. When my husband and I moved into our first home after packing up the last trinkets of my childhood leftover at my parents' house, he couldn't believe how many boxes stacked up in our little study. "You've found another one?!" he would exclaim, when in our unpacking I would discover a box marked "toys" only to find a single layer of stuffed animals sheltering another trove of ideas penned by far better minds than my own. A few of those boxes, mostly empty, still sit in our study, as the volume far outstripped the shelf space.

Among these is a shelf of my "to-do" list: books I picked up here or there for a creative title or interesting cover page or because "a friend of a friend read on a blog" that a book was worth the read. They stare at me accusingly every time I enter, as though the green corners of bills stick up from their bindings, reminding me of the groceries they could have been. Some of these books have made their way to my office, clustered full of ideas that could potentially solve my next crisis but have yet to even have the binding bent.

Today, in a surprising show of resolve, I picked one up: "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis. The dust was thick enough I couldn't even remember how I came to have it; certainly because his name on the cover means it's worth the read, but whether I bought it, received it, or snitched it out of a library recycle bin, I can't recall. Whatever the situation that brought it to my possession, in one sitting, I had read it all.  Of the pages I marked, I will share two with you now:

"Imagine a man in total darkness. He thinks he is in a cellar or dungeon. Then there comes a sound. He thinks it might be a sound from far off - waves or wind-blown trees or cattle half a mile away. And if so, it proves he's not in a  cellar, but free, in the open air. Or it may be a much smaller sound close at hand - a chuckle of laughter. And if so, there is a friend just beside him in the dark. Either way, a good, good sound...I, or any mortal at any time, may be utterly mistaken as to the situation he is really in." (p. 64)

and

"Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. How many hours are there in a mile? Is yellow square or round? Probably half the questions we ask - half our great theological and metaphysical problems - are like that." (p. 69)

Every day I stand in front of God and demand He prove Himself. He must prove He is loving. He must prove He is good. He must prove He is trustworthy. In arrogance I place God in the defendant's seat, grasping for myself the gavel and the law, seated above Him in judgement of His character and actions.

The truth is I would much rather be getting on without God. I would much rather define that which is morality. I would much rather go about doing what I plan to do and like to do without His interference, and certainly without all the mishaps I blame on Him that are really due to my own sin and the sin that has broken our world asunder.

The truth is...you're this way.

We all are.

Certainly we have always been, though post-enlightenment we no longer ask those questions behind closed doors but brashly scream our demands from the mountaintops of the Internet, the television, the speaker's podium... Christians, eager in their defense of God, have sought to answer those demands, to rationalize God down into a box the culture can manage. With the best of intentions we have taken the "wild lion" of God (to borrow another Lewis metaphor from "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe"), and made Him a house cat. To make Him more manageable we have shaved His mane, put a food dish in the corner, and collared Him with with "Fluffy" on His name tag.

Yet God declares of Himself:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the LORD.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV)

and

"You turn things upside down! Shall the potter be regarded as the clay, that the thing made should say of its maker, 'He did not make me'; or the thing formed say of him who formed it, 'He has no understanding'"?

We seek to rationalize and explain something so far beyond our capacity, that as Lewis puts it, we are like a person in total darkness trying to explain what is going on around us. For a God who can claim the heavens as the work of His fingers (Psalm 8:3) must certainly be far beyond our comprehension. We create, but only based on what is already known. God created everything without prior inspiration. Creativity in its purest form is represented in the mind of God, who made everything from nothing. There was nothing for Him to base this all off of.

This is not to say we should not think or question or discuss in order to understand Him better, but we should have far more humility in doing so than we do in present America. As Lewis put it, our grand theological discussions and arguments are arguments over nonsense. We cannot even understand that over which we argue, as though two residents of ancient Egypt were to stumble upon a computer tablet and seek to explain it. Even that is only a pale comparison to the difference between God's actions and our understanding.

Lewis was right. We sit in the dark, and hearing the wind through trees, we think we are free, even though the darkness might hide the bars of a cage. Praise God who, just as He knows all things, knew we would always seeks to live life on our own terms and sent Jesus:

"Who being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross!  Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Philippians 2:6-11 NIV)

A desperately neglected one....

Marriage...it's a word that carries layers of understanding and expectations.  When someone tells you they are "married," it immediately calls to mind a wealth of information.  In it's ideal, God-given state, saying this means, "I am committed to someone outside myself.  I love and cherish another human being above my own well-being and happiness.  In fact, my happiness comes from putting this other human first in my life.  Every decision I make impacts directly and intimately another human being, and so every decision I make necessarily takes into consideration that person and the potential impact on them.  Everything I do takes into consideration that other person, their wants and desires, their joys and sorrows.  This inherently means I will not do things I might have done as a bachelor because my relationship with that person has realigned my priorities.  My desires must be tempered by the knowledge of the other person in my life."

In the same way, the word faith is not a word that stands alone.  Faith is not an end in itself, nor the object of our attention.  Faith describes a relationship, a relationship that is deeper, longer-lasting, and more powerful than even the relationship contained in the word marriage.  When you say "I have faith in Christ" or "I am a Christian" or "I am growing in my faith," you are saying, "By the grace of God, I am committed to someone outside myself.  I love and cherish this man/God, Jesus, above my own well-being and immediate happiness.  In fact, my happiness is defined by putting Him first in my life.  Every decision I make directly and intimately reflects upon this object of love and passion, Jesus.  Therefore, every decision I make necessarily takes into consideration Him and the potential impact it has on our relationship.  Everything I do takes into consideration my Savior, His wants and desires, His joys and sorrows.  This inherently means I will not do things I might have done before I found out about His love for me because our relationship has realigned my priorities.  My desires must be tempered by the knowledge of Jesus' presence in my life."

So in the church, when we say that being a "Christian" is about more than checking your name on the metaphorical attendance roster for Sunday or simply paying lipservice by saying, "I'm a Christian," that's what we mean.  We aren't saying your lifestyle and priorities in any way determine Christ's love for you or provide for your salvation; what we are saying is they say a lot about whether there is a relationship.  Remember what I said about marriage?  How long will that be the definition of your marriage if that other person is the focus of your life for a mere hour a week, no matter how desperately your neglected spouse continues to pursue you?  It will end, not because they walk away... but because you did.  People should be able to tell if you're married.... and they should be able to tell you are in love with Christ.

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."

 -Galatians 5:22-25(NIV)

I'll give you everything....

In the events of Matthew 4:1-11, Jesus was hungry, starving, exhausted and hot, wandering the wilderness of Judea.  For forty days, he had nothing to eat... and in that moment of absolute physical weakness, Satan believed he had an opportunity to derail Jesus.  He wanted to cause Jesus to stumble, to sin.  After all, it would take only what we would think of as the "smallest of sins" on Jesus' part to annihilate any hope for mankind.  The only reason Jesus could die on the cross and take away all our sins, and the punishment that came with them, is because He is sinless.  One misstep and humanity has lost salvation and the chance to be defined, not by our failings, but by God's perfection.  It had worked with Adam, so Satan thought he could swing it again with Jesus.

I find his third, and final, attempt to cause Jesus to sin particularly interesting:

"Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.  'All this I will give you,' he said, 'if you will bow down and worship me.'" 

- Matthew 4:8-9(NIV)

Satan promised to give Jesus all the kingdoms of the world - that means he offered Jesus Rome in the height of its power, the Chinese empire under the Han dynasty, the Kushan Empire, the 3 Kingdoms of Korea, Yayoi Japan, all the tribes of Africa and North America... essentially, Satan offered the whole of the world to Jesus, just for the "teeny-tiny" price of worshiping the Father of Lies.  

What I find interesting is that Satan offers Jesus something that is not his to provide.  Genesis 2:4(NIV) states that "the LORD God made the earth and the heavens," i.e., God made everything.  That means everything is His and all that we might perceive we "have" is something God has given to us.  So how can Satan offer the kingdoms of this world?  Jesus, who states "I and the Father are one" in John 10:30(NIV), already possesses all the world.

But isn't that how Satan always works?  He offers us ANYTHING and EVERYTHING so that we will go along with his little whispered suggestions in our ear.  He offers you FUN; he offers you JOY; he offers you LOVE; he offers you SATISFACTION; he offers you PEACE; he offers you MEANING; he offers you PLEASURE... he suggests that a life in Christ can't give you this.  "Jesus is boring; Jesus isn't fun; Jesus can't give you the love you need; if you follow Jesus you can't HAVE what you really want and need; Jesus only makes demands, He can't give you peace..." Satan whispers... and over and over again we buy it.  With our words and actions we bow down and worship the things of this life, convinced they will give us fun, joy, love, satisfaction, peace, meaning, pleasure... but these are things that are not Satan's to provide.

"Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters.  Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

- James 1:16-17(NIV)

This world can never provide you with the desires of your heart.  The things that are offered here are pale, weak imitations of the life God wants to give you, of the life Jesus died to give you.  You know what Jesus said to Satan's offer?

"Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’” 

- Matthew 4:10(NIV)

The fullness we hunger for....

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." 

- Matthew 5:6(NIV)

Reading this verse can only be understood in the context of the previous three beattitudes:

1. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 5:3(NIV)
2. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."- Matthew 5:4(NIV)
3. "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." - Matthew 5:5(NIV)

As we walk through life and see how broken the world is, as we, ourselves, are broken by the cruelties and horrors human beings commit against one another, as we look into our own hearts and see how often we fail to be the good sort of person we would like to be... we recognize that we, and the world, are incapable of creating paradise on earth.  We are entirely unable to intrinsically and permanently change this world... or ourselves.

The word "righteousness" in Matthew 5:6, is not the same kind of understanding of the word "righteousness" that we have in the English language.  The English understanding of this word makes righteousness a quality that we create within ourselves.  I choose to have good moral character.  I choose to do the right thing.  The English understanding is "self-righteousness," where good behavior is entirely dependent on me.  But wait... don't the previous three beattitudes fly in the face of this definition?  They say we, and the world, are entirely corrupt and unable to change things for the better. 

They do indeed, but the Greek understanding of this little, yet significant, word... has a very different implication.  "Righteousness," from a Biblical understanding... has nothing to do with you.  Righteousness is a characteristic which can only describe the total goodness, justice, and mercy that God, Himself, embodies.  It is, in a word, perfection.  To truly be righteous is to stand before this completely perfect being, who is God, and be absolutely blameless.  God would be unable to find a single fault or character flaw in one who was righteous.

Wow... what a daunting prospect.  When I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself, I don't see a person who would withstand that test.  I see a person who consistently fails to treat others with the respect they deserve, to love others as Christ loved them, to the point of death.  I see a person who never lives up to the standards they have set for themselves, no matter how much they desire to.

Yet what does the second half of verse 6 say?  

"They will be filled."  

And Colossians 2:9(NLT) states:

"For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body.^"

And Ephesians 3:16-19(NIV) states:

"I pray...that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

When we "know this love that surpasses knowledge," which is all that Jesus is and has done... we are filled fully with the righteousness we "hunger and thirst" for.  When God looks at us, He does not see the failings and darkness and filth of our less-than-perfect ways of living... He sees perfection: the perfection purchased by the death and resurrection of Jesus.  It is not something we do... but something that Jesus did.

So, rest in peace... and remember this:

"Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.  God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure." 

- Ephesians 1:4-5(NLT)

The poor have it all....

In teaching circles, it seems like common knowledge that if you teach something, you learn it much more thoroughly than you ever have before.  I had heard this saying even before I was a church worker, but now that I have spent a few years writing Bible studies and teaching children, youth, and adults... I understand how true this is.  It is especially true of teaching something like the Word of God, which is called "living and active" in Hebrews 4:12(NIV).  You can learn a particular story and passage a dozen times, and still turn around to read it one day and have a whole new understanding of what you read that revolutionizes the way you think or act.  This is not to say the meaning changes, but knowing the words of the Bible is like knowing a person: even if you've known them for your whole life, they can still surprise you.

Recently, I taught a study on the Beatitudes, which are the first part of Jesus' "Sermon on the Mount," and are recorded in Matthew 5:1-12.  I had read through the Beatitudes probably a million times, had sat through several bible studies on them, and had even written the study that I taught.  Yet, as I discussed the Beatitudes with the youth mentors who would teach the study to their small group of youth, and as I taught it to my youth small group... the significance of this passage overwhelmed me again.

This passage is a description of Christian living, or at least... of what Christian living should look like as we are transformed more and more by the love of Christ and motivated by the Holy Spirit to live out that transformation in the lives of others.  I would love to explore all of them today, but I think over the next few weeks I will explore them in chunks and how I have understood them in my life.

The first Beatitude is:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 5:3(NIV) 

What a contradiction this first verse seems!  The "poor in spirit" receives "the kingdom of heaven"?!  But I think it is no contradiction at all, but fits beautifully with the message of Christ.  Romans 3:23(NIV) states, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."  We are all "poor in spirit" because we have all done things for which we are ashamed, and we have all looked at the world and thought "This is wrong."  We know that we are not as we should be, and it is clear every day that the world is not as it should be.  

Yet, in this moment, God does not leave us in the shame of recognizing our own failings or the despair that the world is corrupt and broken.  In the same verse where we are called "poor in spirit," God offers this undeserved gift, "theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  In Luke 17:20-21, we learn the "Kingdom of God" is Jesus himself, for when Jesus is asked "When will the Kingdom of God come?", He replies, "the Kingdom of God is already among you," indicating Himself there speaking with them!  So when we, in our brokenness, are offered the "kingdom of God," we are offered Christ, Himself!  In that moment when we recognize how many mistakes we make and how horrible this world is, how completely contrary everything in life is to an absolutely perfect God... this same perfect God steps in and offers life! 

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - Jesus (John 10:10b)

Nothing to be thankful for....

So you think you have nothing to be thankful for?  It's that time of year again when Americans are filling their kitchens with turkey, mashed potatoes, pies, cranberry sauce, and any other number of holiday food traditions associated with Thanksgiving.  Social media sites are loaded with anecdotes about thankfulness, with people using the twenty-some-odd day build up to the fourth Thursday in November to list, each day, one person or thing in their lives they are grateful for.  If you're one of those, who even in the cheery light of this season cannot seem to discover one thing to bring a smile to your face in the midst of your circumstances... it probably becomes tiresome.  There is probably a point where everybody else's overwhelming thankfulness twists into overwhelming vanity about their own happy circumstances.  "Look how great my life is!" they seem to say.  All you can think of may be "Good for you and la-tee-da!  My life sucks!"

I would challenge you that no matter your circumstances, your life is chock full of blessing.

There it is; the gauntlet is on the ground.  How can I possibly making such a sweeping statement when, you're right, I may not know you personally or be acquainted with those things that keep you up at night or too-readily pursue you into dismal dreams?  I can say this with confidence because of Ecclesiastes 3:11, a passage I have often quoted, which states:

"God has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."(emphasis mine)

"God has made everything beautiful in its time."  I've looked at the Hebrew in which this was written.  Everything has no caveats, no exceptions.  It literally means what it says: God has made ALL THINGS beautiful.  Why is it past tense?  Because God does not function inside our understanding of time.  For Him, all things that have ever been or ever will be have been simultaneously known to Him since before the dawn of time.  He Sees your misery and despair when people reject you again and again and again and you can't figure out why.  He Sees your frustration and grief when you fail at the same things over and over again and can't seem to change them or yourself.  He's there in the house with you when your mother or your father or your siblings don't love you the way they should and leave you broken inside.

But how can those things be beautiful; what can possibly undo what has been done?  That's a difficult question, you're absolutely right.  If we sat down together and you told me your circumstances... I probably wouldn't be able to give you a precise answer to what exactly about your particular circumstance is beautiful.  It would probably tear my heart apart to hear what you're going through, to know how much you are hurting.  But I can tell you this, we "cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."  God is so much bigger and so much more powerful and so much more loving and caring and wise than all the wisdom and all the knowledge of all humanity has ever been or ever will be.  We cannot grasp even a teaspoon of all that He is up to in the story of all humanity or even in your single life.  But He is up to something.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28 (NIV)

In those horrible circumstances, God has promised to work, to be present, to turn those things that seem beyond redemption into something beautiful... something for your good and maybe the good of others far beyond yourself.  Trust this promise, and all the promises, God has made.  He is faithful to them; to you.  This is the God who created all things in all the universe and then gave it to you to rule over (Psalm 8.)  This is the God who did not spare His son, Jesus, but sent Him to this world to die the most gruesome, torturous death of the time period, in order to have a relationship with you (John 3:17).

My friend... whoever you are, whatever circumstances you are in... you have so much to be grateful for.  

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge." - Ephesians 3:17b-19a(NIV) 

The LORD is near....

In John 9:1-3, the disciples are walking along with Jesus when they see a man that was born blind.  They ask Jesus, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”  They asked this because, in Jewish tradition, physical illness was considered a punishment from God for wrongdoing.  Not only was physical illness, but any sort of calamity or even poverty was considered a mark of God's displeasure with you.  What is Jesus' reply?

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him."

Now, I said it was a Jewish tradition to view calamity as a mark of judgement from God... but if we're honest with ourselves, do we really act like we don't believe the same thing?  How many times have awful things happened, especially to good people, and we have turned to this question to God, "Why, God?!  What did we do to deserve this?"

Yet look at this passage.  This young man was born into a society that viewed disability as a punishment from God.  The moment he drew breath, the moment his parents realized what he "lacked," their world was changed.  Everyone would have treated them differently because that blindness meant somewhere along the line, either the parents or the kid must have done something to deserve what had happened.  It's like how AIDS patients were treated when the disease first became known: like plague carriers, like even being near them would risk you contracting their disease.  The neighbors were thinking, "God's angry at them.  I don't want Him to get the idea I have anything to do with people like that!"  Even the disciples, following in the footsteps of Jesus, who spent all his time with socially outcast people, were quick to assume someone was at fault for this man's blindness.  

What Jesus says, though, is telling.  God did not make this man blind because of sin.  He was just simply, born blind.  But God allowed this to happen in order that this man would have a personal, saving encounter with Jesus Christ.  This man may never have met Jesus or believed in Him had He not  been blind.  But through Jesus' healing of his eyes in John 9:6-7, this man came so See who Jesus is, as he said in John 9:32-33(NIV), "Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind.  If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”  A brief period of trouble allowed this blind man to meet Jesus Christ Himself, and be forever changed by it.

So in trouble, remember that it is not God's punishment coming down on you for what you have done.  Romans 8:1(NIV) says, "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."  In fact, when you face hardship of any kind, remember Psalm 34:18(NIV), "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."  This word "near" in Hebrew can be translated "near in place," "near in  time," or "near in personal relationship."  Not only is God actually present with you as you struggle... His heart and all His concern is focused upon you.  He is not punishing you... He is carrying you through.

Isaiah 46:3-4(NIV) says:

“Listen to me, O house of Jacob,

    all you who remain of the house of Israel,

you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,

    and have carried since your birth.

⁴ 

Even to your old age and gray hairs

    I am he, I am he who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry you;

    I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

Though you may not genetically of the "house of Jacob," Galatians 3:29(NIV) says, "If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise."  Jacob and Israel were both descendants of Abraham, and so God's promise in this passage applies to you.  So read it, rather:

“Listen to me, O house of God,

    all you whom Christ has saved,

you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,

    and have carried since your birth.

⁴ 

Even to your old age and gray hairs

    I am he, I am he who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry you;

    I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

Wind of life....

Colorado... I was blessed to grow up there, and not just anywhere, but at the foot of the Rocky Mountains.  Morning bus rides to school in winter meant a view of snow-covered mountains turned pink or purple by the rising sun.  Driving home from after-school activities as a high school student meant cresting a rolling foothill to see cumulus clouds sitting just above rugged peaks, rays of sun shooting between the clouds as though the gates of heaven were opening and the hidden brilliance behind the pearly gates was spilling out.  Spring drives through the country meant rolling fields of golden, fallow fields of cut corn alternating with the green carpet of new sprigs of corn, all sweeping up to indigo mountains that exploded upward into snow-capped peaks towering into skies so deep a blue you thought you might be able to dive into them.

Most people would also mention cold, snowy winters.  Mornings where you wake up and underneath the layer of snow on your windshield is a layer of ice you have to spend nearly twenty minutes scraping away.  It meant driving through the mountains to witness pine trees frosted overnight by snow, each needle now individually coated in white as through it had sprouted little, white hairs.

Paired with this is brutal summers in the high nineties with next to no humidity.  Hills once purple with June grass turn brown.  Green fields turn to the dusky yellow of dried-out corn husks, the vegetation actually crunching underfoot, the ground cracking, dust rising at every footstep.  You can't drink enough water, and being at high altitude, it only takes ten minutes of sun to turn you into a lobster.

One feature of Colorado a lot of people don't seem to remember, though... is the wind.  Colorado has powerful winds that rip down off the peaks from the clouds above them and tear across the plains in gusts as powerful as the winds of category 1 hurricanes.  The strongest wind gust in Colorado history was 147mph, the speed of the winds in a category 4 hurricane.  I have seen flag poles bent in half, semi trucks pushed over, cars flipped, and in a humorous instance, a rooster flipped over on his back and blown head-first across a yard.  It's a common practice of Coloradans everywhere to come home from work and walk down the street to find where the wind has taken their trashcan on trash day.

Where am I going in all this talk of wind?  Today, I read Acts 2:1-13.  It accounts the day of Pentecost, when the disciples were given the Holy Spirit.  As they were sitting in the house, Luke records in verse 2 that when the Holy Spirit came, "Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting."

As a girl, my bedroom was on the west side of the house.  For those who have never lived on Colorado's east slope: that's the side of the house facing the mountains.  When wind storms came up, it was a very noisy room to be in, especially unfortunate at night when you're a light sleeper.  Reading verse 2 of this passage took me back to that memory of wind in Colorado: of the incredible noise and power of wind.  In the summers in Colorado, wind takes camp fires or the spark of a cigarette and turns them into uncontrollable wildfires that consume everything in their path.  Doubt me?  Just look up the Waldo Canyon Fire, the High Park Fire, or the Hayman Fire.  They are devastating occurrences, and are feared in Colorado the way hurricanes are in the South.

Yet these winds are nothing to the winds of God.  The first record of the wind of God we have is in Genesis 2:7(ESV), when God "breathed into [Adam's] nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."  The wind from God brought life itself.  And from the very beginning, it implied an intimacy with the creation of man that God gave to no other being.  For in this passage, the Hebrew used to discuss God breathing into Adam implies the concept of God literally taking Adam into His arms, holding him close, and breathing life into his empty frame.  All the rest of creation was made with a single command.  But for Adam, God set Him apart, immediately showed a tenderness and concern for humanity that He showed to no other creature in creation.

And with Eve, God showed no less partiality.  For, just as Adam was created in a completely unique way from all other creatures... so Eve was created in a completely unique way, even from Adam.  While Adam God "formed...from the dust of the ground" (Genesis 2:7a), with Eve, God, "took one of the man's ribs [and] made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man" (Genesis 2:12-22).  Just as God was "hands on" in the creation of Adam, so He was with Eve.  However, unlike Adam, Eve was crafted from living tissue.  Through this, God distinguished humanity, both man and woman, from all creation.  From the dawn of time, He has told us "You are unique.  You are special.  I made you with not just my word, but the very work of my hands and the breath of my body."

Therefore, in Acts, when the wind blew through the house... it was a reminder of that "chosenness" which began at creation... and was heralding an even greater intimacy: God, Himself, living within us.  Not only do we breath with the breath of God, but at Pentecost, the Holy Spirit came to live within the Apostles.  Through their preaching of the Gospel that day, the Holy Spirit also came to live in the hearts of 3000 people who became Christians from hearing the Message.  God spoke life at creation, and He spoke again through His Apostles to bring eternal life into the hearts of believers.

But it didn't end there.

Today... thousands of years from that morning when the Holy Spirit descended on the Apostles as "tongues of fire," we, too, carry within us that same Spirit.  And when we speak the Truth of the Gospel, we are speaking the same life into peoples hearts that was first breathed into mankind from the very mouth of God on the sixth day of creation.

Fraidy cat....

Uncertainty.... uncertainty seems to constantly define our lives, and if we are honest with ourselves, ultimately moves us through life in constant fear responses that attempt to guard us from the threat of the unknown.  I was told once the stock market is run by "fear and greed."  If people fear something bad will happen with the market, they pull out, and actually make something bad happen in the stock market that may not have been that bad if they had stuck it out.  And that's just a fear of material loss.  There are fears we act on that are much deeper... and so much more destructive.  These are the fears of what could happen in our lives... fears of failure.  I fear I will not be accepted to the ivy league college I really want to go to.  Instead of facing that fear, I run and apply to other colleges.  I fear I won't be able to afford a college I really want to go to, so I don't even apply or only apply for ones I know for sure I can afford.  I don't try out for a sports team because I know it's really competitive and I fear I won't make it and can't bear the thought of that failure.  I fear the person I'm attracted to will turn me down, so instead of speaking up or spending time with that person, I stand silent as they pass me by.  I know a class will be difficult, so rather than trying and perhaps finding out I can't do really well in that class, I give up all together because it's better to fail when I know I'm not giving my all than do the best I can and discover I still can't make it.  I know what I believe about God, but I'm afraid to share or speak up because I don't want to be judged as "intolerant" or face questions I can't answer, so I let life-saving opportunities to share the love of God pass me by.

Most, or even all, of these fears are ones we have faced in our lives.  I know all of these are ones I have experienced myself... and at least once I have given into all of them.  As a Christian, I know that God "has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end" (Ecclesiastes 3:11).  Yet, I live with this finite perspective left over from the fall of men, where I think, "The length of our days is seventy years-- or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away" (Psalm 90:10).  I often live trying to reduce that trouble as much as I can, though I have "eternity set in [my] heart," and should have a perspective of how trouble now can mean joy later for me and even many beyond my lifetime.  

For example, I am what you would call a "second career" church worker.  I started out studying in a completely different field with a completely different set of life goals in mind.  By the time I realized I wanted to enter church work... I was a senior in college with a semester of school left.  I had already accumulated my school debt from studying abroad my junior year.  I was fully trained to enter the workforce, except for a few minor, core credit requirements I needed to complete my final semester.  The church work college I needed to go to was expensive, and there were essentially no scholarship opportunities available going into that program as a graduate student.  As a natural long-term planner (i.e., someone who deeply fears the unknown and attempts to plan their whole life before they enter high school), I was standing on the precipice.  Would I follow the fear... or the calling God had set before me?

In Psalm 77:19(NIV), the psalmist writes about God, "Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen."  The psalmist wrote this reflecting about when the Israelites left Egypt, a land in which they had been enslaved, and found themselves on the edge of the Red Sea with no way to cross.  Behind them came the entire Egyptian army at a time when Egypt was one of the premier world powers, and they were not coming with boats... they were coming with swords to destroy and enslave once more.  The Israelites were trapped.  Many of them reacted in fear.  God had promised to their ancestors He would be faithful to their descendants and had delivered them from the hand of Pharaoh, the most powerful man in the known world, with miracles they could not even have imagined... but that's hard to remember with a sword at your back and no way to escape.  What did God do?  He drove the waters apart to create a path to the other side of the Red Sea.

"Your path lead through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen."

How often in your life have you faced that, a moment of decision... when the "footprints" of God were unseen?  So many, I would guess... and if you're like me... there are so many ahead.  Yet, He is there, isn't He?  As the Israelites crossed between the parted sea, they were following a path God had opened for them.  As they traveled forward, behind them God stood as a pillar of fire, blocking the pursing Egyptians so they could not overcome the Israelites before they crossed.  Throughout their journeys in the desert, "the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.  Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people" (Exodus 13:21-22).  God never left His place in front of His people.  

And God never leaves His place with you, either.  Jesus said in Matthew 28:20(NIV), "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."  In Romans 8:9, it says that as a Christian, the "Spirit of God" lives in you, that He "leads" you... and the Spirit of God is not "not a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7).  So though, like through the waters, it may be that God's "footprints [are] not seen," don't live in fear.  He is there; He is guiding you, no matter how desperate the circumstances may seem.  The all-powerful creator of everything is actually living in you. And though, even when you face your fears you may still fail, remember this, "We know that in all things God works for the good of those wholove him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28.)

Job 10-13...

The verse that stuck out to me in today's study is one that has always jumped out at me when reading this portion of Job.  Job has just received a lot of advice from his friends, who came to see him after all the horrible things that had happened to him.  Their advice essentially said that he had somehow brought this judgement on himself, and he needed to repent of whatever wrongdoing he was in so that God would once again bring him into His good favor.  This reflected a common viewpoint of the time that earthly blessings were a sign of God's good favor for a righteous person, so therefore you must have sinned somehow to deserve bad things that had happened to you.  (This view was prevalent in Jewish culture, as well, and is why the disciples asked Jesus "who sinned" about a man who was blind from birth in John 9.  To this, Jesus responded in John 9:3(ESV) "Neither this man nor his parents sinned...but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.")

But to get back to Job, he rebuked his friends for their statements, going on to say in Job 13:15(ESV), "Though He slay me, I will hope in Him."  This response to his friends, as well as the rebuke of his wife to "curse God and die" in Job 2, absolutely floors me.  Imagine yourself in Job's position.  Imagine yourself one of the most renowned people in all the world.  You have more money than you know what to do with; you have the million dollar house with tons of property in the nicest place you could imagine to live; you have every kind of car you've ever wanted; you're married with children who are nearly as successful as you and are very close to one another; you have tons of friends who care deeply for you.  Then, in one day, you lose all of it.  Your children all die at once in a tragic accident, your cars are all stolen or destroyed, your spouse tells you you might as well die, your friends tell you that you are cursed by God for doing something awful when you know you've done nothing wrong.  Then, you become chronically ill.  

But to all this, do you blame God?  Do you lose faith?  Not if you're Job.  Job contends God could go even a step further and kill him, but he would still "hope in Him."  Wow.  I don't know about you, but I have gotten angry at God for not being able to find my car keys when I'm late for work or when petty things don't go my way.  Reading the story of Job really puts things into perspective for me.  Let me type it again:

"Though He slay me, I will hope in Him."

But how do we maintain this faithfulness in a broken world, where it seems like every day the world conspires to destroy our faith?  I remind myself of the promise of God in 1 Corinthians 10:12b(ESV) "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

No temptation, even the temptation to blame God and lose faith, is uncommon.  What is more, as I look at this verse, what stands out is this: 

1. God always limits what bad things can be done to you.
2. God provides the means for you to endure evil.

You do not face the darkness in this world alone, but He that created all the universe goes before you into the darkness to show the way, walks beside as you face it, and follows behind you to bring you through it.  No matter what you face... remember that.  The voices of doubt may say that God has abandoned you, that you are alone... but those voices are lying.  You are never alone.

Job so far....

Since I'm starting this blog after having started my study of the Word, I'm going to backtrack slightly to explain what is going on with Job.  Job was an incredibly faithful man of God, about whom God said in Job 1:8b(ESV), "there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil."  Satan contended that Job was only faithful because God had made him wealthy and successful in all he did, with blessings in his family, as well.  To prove that Job was faithful to God out of love, God allowed Satan to attack Job's wealth and family.

Now, to comprehend how wealthy Job was, let me lay it out for you.  Job had:

• 7,000 sheep 
• 3,000 camels
• 500 yoke of oxen (that's 1000 oxen)
• 500 female donkeys
• "very many servants, so that this man was the greatest of all the people in the east." - Job 1:3b
• 7 sons (remember, sons were considered a sign of blessing from God, so for him to have a lot was a big deal in that society)
• 3 daughters
• If Job owned all these creatures, imagine how many people it would take to run that kind of property and just how much property and money it would take to sustain that many creatures!  After all, the rough estimate is that someone should have about one acre per six sheep today, so we could say Job would have needed at least 1166 acres just for his sheep!

When Satan began his attack on Job, the following happened all on the same day (Job 1:13-19):

1. Sabeans attacked and stole all of Job's oxen and donkeys and only one servant escaped to tell him.
2. Fire fell from heaven and killed all of Job's sheep and servants, except for the one who escaped to tell Job.
3. The Chaldeans attacked and took all of Job's camels and only one servant escaped to tell him.
4. His sons and daughters were all feasting together in the oldest son's house when a powerful wind came up and brought the house to the ground, killing everyone inside except the one servant that brought him the news.

So in one day, Job lost all his family but his wife, and all of the livestock that brought him so much wealth, plus nearly all of the servants who helped him sustain his property.  But according to Job 1:22b(ESV) "Job did not sin or charge God with wrong."

God was very proud of Job in all this, saying to Satan in Job 2:3b(ESV) "He still holds fast his integrity, although you incited me against him to destroy him without reason."  However, Satan contended Job was only faithful because God had protected him from any personal, physical harm.  Therefore, still confident in Job, God allowed Satan to do anything to him, except that he must "spare his life." (Job 2:6b)  The result of this was Job being struck with physical illness in the form of "loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head." (Job 2:7b)

At this point, I cannot imagine myself being able to hold up in faith.  Yet in Job 2:9-10(ESV), "Then his wife said to him, 'Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.' But he said to her, 'You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?' In all this Job did not sin with his lips."