Dying to succeed....

When I was in high school - no... let's be honest - WHENEVER I was in school, I was one of those students.  You can pinpoint them a mile away: the walking-as-fast-as-I-can-without-running footsteps from class to class, the high-pitched anxiety voice at finals week, the dark circles under the eyes from studying into the night and getting up early, the has-no-social-life-because-over-committed schedule, and the over-analytical critique of every bit of homework or test returned with anything below an "A" written at the top.  That was me.  I remember lying in bed at night, unable to sleep because of my anxiety over a project that was coming due or an upcoming concert or sporting event that I wasn't convinced was perfected yet.  High school was even worse, as I climbed the "ladder of success" in the academic, music, and athletic worlds into which I immersed myself.  Looking back, I am admittedly proud of my accomplishments... but there's also a sense that I lost focus of those things that really matter, sometimes.

Now, what can I mean by that, you might wonder.  From the list above, it sounds like I was prioritizing all the right things.  It wasn't like I was spending time getting high or drunk or skipping classes to slum around town with friends.  But I've become more and more convinced that you can be doing "all the right things" and still be "missing the mark" of what really matters.  School, whether it was sports, music or academics, consumed my life back then.  I lost sleep over those things.  Those things were the focus of my life.  Yet, if we read Matthew 6:21&24(NIV):

 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also... No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

What does this passage have to do with school is probably your next question.  The word "money" in this passage is actually a Greek word that more directly translates "treasure."  The concept, then, is that you cannot serve both God and that which you treasure most highly.  When I was in high school and even college, as I said, my life REVOLVED around school and the success I felt I needed in order to move forward and be successful in life.  I was devoted to it.  I gave most of my time to it, my focus to it... even my health at times.  I was convinced that my future depended on my performance in school.  Do you see where I'm going?  I was trusting in academic/musical/athletic success to secure for myself a good future.  I should have been trusting God with that future, the God who died and lives for me, the God who created all things and is responsible for the continuation of all life in this universe, the God who has worked throughout history and every day in order to ensure that I will live eternally with Him. But I was trusting in myself, my success, and my hard work to take care of my future.  Within my own heart, I had dethroned the "King of Kings and Lord of Lords" (1 Timothy 6:15) and seated myself as Lord.

Now, I am not saying academic, musical, or athletic success are in-and-of-themselves bad things.  I'm not saying you shouldn't seek to do well in those God-pleasing pursuits you have committed to.  I am saying that we so easily put our trust in those things, in our ability to be successful in them because we so often buy into the expectations of this world that say we must be successful in these things to have a good life.  Remember that it is in God that we "live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28a) and it is Christ that "was given authority, glory and sovereign power"(Daniel 7:14a) over all times and peoples.  Rather than fretting over the things of this world, simply do what you are able, and remember this passage, which has been central in my faith walk since I was young:

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?   Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

-Matthew 6:25-34(NIV)

Good isn't enough....

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.  You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:13-16(NIV)

If all I have done with my life is convince others that I am a good person, a person to be trusted, than I have utterly, miserably failed in the one calling around which all the rest of my life was supposed to circle.  If the "good deeds" of this life that I carried out were credited only to me, than I "missed the mark."  All the praise and the accolade I may receive to my person is meaningless, unless it is turned heavenward.

"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:16(NIV)

I have spent most of my life being involved in volunteer or professional ministry in the church.  Outside of that circle, as a Christian my life is supposed to be a light in a world corrupted by sin.  I am to serve others because Christ serves others.  I am to love others because Christ loves others.  NONE of these things are supposed to point to ME but to HIM WHO SENT ME!

I was told by a non-Christian friend of mine that, though this person does not believe, he knows I'm "one of the good guys."  At first, I was flattered... naturally I was!  But as I thought about it... about the implications, I wondered, "What if that was all he ever got from me, that I was 'one of the good guys?'  What if all he ever saw was me, when it was only Jesus who could change his life?  What if I have gotten in the way of the ministry God has given me?"  All the kindness I showed him in the world, all the care and discussion and friendship... would be meaningless.  Because at the end of the day he'd still be in hell, and I'd be the one who didn't "make the most of every opportunity" (Colossians 4:5).

And I guess that's the point I want you to take home as you read this; that is the HEART of the issue.  People live and die outside of the grace of Jesus every DAY!  As we go through our lives, there are people on the path to HELL that we pass right by because we're afraid to speak, afraid to be judged, afraid to be wrong or challenged or rejected.  It's like watching a man starve to death because we're afraid they won't like pb&j.

We hold the keys to LIFE people!  Look at the people that you pass every day.  Really look at them!  Look at the students in your class, the people on the sidewalk, the families at the mall or grocery store or at your sporting event.  The knowledge you have in Christ will save their lives.  All that is necessary is for you to speak!  

It's not enough that people like you or think you're a good person  At the end of the day, you cannot save them.  Only Christ can.  He is the one who stands in the brink; who bears us into the presence of God every day of our lives.  Don't be content to stand there and watch the dying pass.  Be the breath of life from God, Himself.

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.  To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, like men sent from God." - 2 Corinthians 2:14-17(NIV)

Calling obsessions....

People collect all sorts of things, from your standard, run-of-the-mill stamp or coin collection, to things a little more odd: like belly-button lint and celebrity hair (yes, people actually collect hair that once was connected to the scalps of famous people.)  If you're like me and have walked into an office lined with figurines from a much-loved TV series, then you know that sometimes our little collections can turn into obsessions.  Most of us have had at least one, and as long as you're not the collector who tackles famous people on their morning jog to make off with a hunk of hair, you're probably not hurting anyone with it.

However, there is an obsession we have in the Christian world that I think is causing harm, and we don't even recognize it.  That obsession... is our fixation on a concept known as "your calling."  Don't get me wrong, calling is an extremely important concept that is a part of the life of every believer, but it is my belief we have taken something that was supposed to be a blessing in our lives, as well as a means of blessing other people, and have made it into a burden on the necks of believers.

Before I explain my point, I want to highlight that I am working from a Lutheran (LCMS) perspective of calling, where "calling" equates to "vocation."  Vocation, from this perspective, is not necessarily what we could call a "career" or "job," though it does include those things.  More generally, vocation is  whatever legitimate labor we carry out in our day-to-day life, with a "legitimate labor" being any action we carry out that does not go against the life God has called us to in the Bible.

Already, this definition is touching on the point I'm trying to make.  We have convinced ourselves that "calling" implies the one thing in our lives that we were made to do, and until we are doing that one thing, we are in a sort of holding pattern where we are getting prepped to do that thing.  This leads us to thinking that, unless we're doing that "one thing," we are not engaged in things that truly matter or that we are not where we "need to be" at the moment.  Yet what does scripture actually say?  Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:31(NIV):

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

Wait a minute...does that mean... that my eating and drinking are to God's glory?!  How can this be?!  As a Christian, when you eat a steak or carrot, who is benefiting?  Well, you, for one.  This food is being used to sustain the life of a person that scripture calls "the light of the world" (Matthew 4:14).  This food is allowing you to continue living, to go out into the world and shine the light of Christ into a world "in darkness" (John 12:25).  What is more, by eating, you are blessing everyone that worked to provide that food.  You bless the check-out lady at the grocery store, the stocker who put that food out on the shelves or in the cooler for you to buy, you're blessing the guy who manages the stocker and the check-out lady, you're blessing the guy who owns the grocery store, you're blessing the trucking company that shipped the food to the store, the trucker who drove the truck, the gas station attendant who the trucker paid to get the gas that runs the truck, the guy who owns the gas station, the guys who fix and maintain the truck, the guys who make the parts for the truck, the guys who ship the parts to the guys that fix and maintain the truck, the guys who ship the oil, the worker on the oil platform, the owner of the oil platform, the company that makes the parts for the oil platform, the engineers who designed the oil platform, the guys who build the oil platforms, the farmer who raised the cow or carrot you ate, the farmer who raised the feed the cow ate, the company that made the fertilizer for the carrot, the water company that the farmer buys water from to water his crops or cows, the company that makes the cars that all these people use to get to work or at work, all the way down to the kids and wives and husbands who wear clothes, buy their food, go to school, and have electricity because all the way down the line, a little Christian somewhere in the world bought a steak at the local grocer.  With one little action, as a Christian, you blessed thousands of people you will never know, just by living out the life God has given you.  Sure, you weren't preaching at the pulpit on Sunday morning or teaching kids arithmetic or shaping policy on capitol hill... but you were changing people's lives none-the-less.  Wherever you are, "whatever you do," you are living out "calling."

Now let's get on to the heart of the issue: the calling, if we must put it that way.  What about your career field?  What about that one thing you are trying to figure out you are supposed to do, as though God has this one thing for you to do, and if you don't find it your life was wasted.  One of the verses I hear cited a lot in support of this view is Jeremiah 29:11(NIV):

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

This a beautiful passage, one that has given me hope in many very unpleasant situations, but I don't necessarily think we have understood this passage rightly when we have cited it to prove God has a specific plan for our lives in regards to that ONE career choice we need to make.  Keep in mind this was written in the Book of Jeremiah, an Old Testament book, and a prophetic book none-the-less.  This was written in a time when Israel was about to be conquered and enslaved by Babylon, and when Israel would be looking forward to a promised Messiah who would deliver them.  What I'm getting at is: Christ had not come yet, and this book was reminding people of the promise of His coming.  Wasn't Jesus God's ultimate "plan" for humanity's good?  Doesn't he allow for prosperity, doesn't He give us hope and a future we would otherwise not have?  In Christ, we have hope in the knowledge that God loves us and has done everything to bring us back into peace with Him.  We know that life does not end in death, but that we have eternal life with God.  We know that one day, all suffering and hardship will cease when God perfects all things.  These things ARE our promised hope and future.  Jesus was and is God's plan for us.

Does this mean I think God has no calling for us?  By no means!  But I think scripture more clearly supports that whatever God-pleasing thing we are doing right now is our calling.  We aren't waiting for some future thing to do with ourselves, we are living out calling every day.  

Now, legitimately, I won't say that means every Christian has a calling to do everything.  In 1 Corinthians 12, it is clear that not everyone has the same gifts, though they all are equally important to the whole of Christianity.  When God created you, He gave you certain gifts and abilities that are unique in the way they are combined in you.  Necessarily, then, there are certain things in life that you are more suited to than someone else with a different combination of gifts.  But that still does not mean there is only one thing by which you could serve God and humanity.  You have options, and as long as your focus is on using your gifts to serve God and other people, whatever you choose (even if it's different things over your lifetime), be assured you are living out your calling, and that God is using you to bless this world:

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.  For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing." - 2 Corinthians 2:14-15(NIV)

Wind of life....

Colorado... I was blessed to grow up there, and not just anywhere, but at the foot of the Rocky Mountains.  Morning bus rides to school in winter meant a view of snow-covered mountains turned pink or purple by the rising sun.  Driving home from after-school activities as a high school student meant cresting a rolling foothill to see cumulus clouds sitting just above rugged peaks, rays of sun shooting between the clouds as though the gates of heaven were opening and the hidden brilliance behind the pearly gates was spilling out.  Spring drives through the country meant rolling fields of golden, fallow fields of cut corn alternating with the green carpet of new sprigs of corn, all sweeping up to indigo mountains that exploded upward into snow-capped peaks towering into skies so deep a blue you thought you might be able to dive into them.

Most people would also mention cold, snowy winters.  Mornings where you wake up and underneath the layer of snow on your windshield is a layer of ice you have to spend nearly twenty minutes scraping away.  It meant driving through the mountains to witness pine trees frosted overnight by snow, each needle now individually coated in white as through it had sprouted little, white hairs.

Paired with this is brutal summers in the high nineties with next to no humidity.  Hills once purple with June grass turn brown.  Green fields turn to the dusky yellow of dried-out corn husks, the vegetation actually crunching underfoot, the ground cracking, dust rising at every footstep.  You can't drink enough water, and being at high altitude, it only takes ten minutes of sun to turn you into a lobster.

One feature of Colorado a lot of people don't seem to remember, though... is the wind.  Colorado has powerful winds that rip down off the peaks from the clouds above them and tear across the plains in gusts as powerful as the winds of category 1 hurricanes.  The strongest wind gust in Colorado history was 147mph, the speed of the winds in a category 4 hurricane.  I have seen flag poles bent in half, semi trucks pushed over, cars flipped, and in a humorous instance, a rooster flipped over on his back and blown head-first across a yard.  It's a common practice of Coloradans everywhere to come home from work and walk down the street to find where the wind has taken their trashcan on trash day.

Where am I going in all this talk of wind?  Today, I read Acts 2:1-13.  It accounts the day of Pentecost, when the disciples were given the Holy Spirit.  As they were sitting in the house, Luke records in verse 2 that when the Holy Spirit came, "Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting."

As a girl, my bedroom was on the west side of the house.  For those who have never lived on Colorado's east slope: that's the side of the house facing the mountains.  When wind storms came up, it was a very noisy room to be in, especially unfortunate at night when you're a light sleeper.  Reading verse 2 of this passage took me back to that memory of wind in Colorado: of the incredible noise and power of wind.  In the summers in Colorado, wind takes camp fires or the spark of a cigarette and turns them into uncontrollable wildfires that consume everything in their path.  Doubt me?  Just look up the Waldo Canyon Fire, the High Park Fire, or the Hayman Fire.  They are devastating occurrences, and are feared in Colorado the way hurricanes are in the South.

Yet these winds are nothing to the winds of God.  The first record of the wind of God we have is in Genesis 2:7(ESV), when God "breathed into [Adam's] nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."  The wind from God brought life itself.  And from the very beginning, it implied an intimacy with the creation of man that God gave to no other being.  For in this passage, the Hebrew used to discuss God breathing into Adam implies the concept of God literally taking Adam into His arms, holding him close, and breathing life into his empty frame.  All the rest of creation was made with a single command.  But for Adam, God set Him apart, immediately showed a tenderness and concern for humanity that He showed to no other creature in creation.

And with Eve, God showed no less partiality.  For, just as Adam was created in a completely unique way from all other creatures... so Eve was created in a completely unique way, even from Adam.  While Adam God "formed...from the dust of the ground" (Genesis 2:7a), with Eve, God, "took one of the man's ribs [and] made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man" (Genesis 2:12-22).  Just as God was "hands on" in the creation of Adam, so He was with Eve.  However, unlike Adam, Eve was crafted from living tissue.  Through this, God distinguished humanity, both man and woman, from all creation.  From the dawn of time, He has told us "You are unique.  You are special.  I made you with not just my word, but the very work of my hands and the breath of my body."

Therefore, in Acts, when the wind blew through the house... it was a reminder of that "chosenness" which began at creation... and was heralding an even greater intimacy: God, Himself, living within us.  Not only do we breath with the breath of God, but at Pentecost, the Holy Spirit came to live within the Apostles.  Through their preaching of the Gospel that day, the Holy Spirit also came to live in the hearts of 3000 people who became Christians from hearing the Message.  God spoke life at creation, and He spoke again through His Apostles to bring eternal life into the hearts of believers.

But it didn't end there.

Today... thousands of years from that morning when the Holy Spirit descended on the Apostles as "tongues of fire," we, too, carry within us that same Spirit.  And when we speak the Truth of the Gospel, we are speaking the same life into peoples hearts that was first breathed into mankind from the very mouth of God on the sixth day of creation.

Fraidy cat....

Uncertainty.... uncertainty seems to constantly define our lives, and if we are honest with ourselves, ultimately moves us through life in constant fear responses that attempt to guard us from the threat of the unknown.  I was told once the stock market is run by "fear and greed."  If people fear something bad will happen with the market, they pull out, and actually make something bad happen in the stock market that may not have been that bad if they had stuck it out.  And that's just a fear of material loss.  There are fears we act on that are much deeper... and so much more destructive.  These are the fears of what could happen in our lives... fears of failure.  I fear I will not be accepted to the ivy league college I really want to go to.  Instead of facing that fear, I run and apply to other colleges.  I fear I won't be able to afford a college I really want to go to, so I don't even apply or only apply for ones I know for sure I can afford.  I don't try out for a sports team because I know it's really competitive and I fear I won't make it and can't bear the thought of that failure.  I fear the person I'm attracted to will turn me down, so instead of speaking up or spending time with that person, I stand silent as they pass me by.  I know a class will be difficult, so rather than trying and perhaps finding out I can't do really well in that class, I give up all together because it's better to fail when I know I'm not giving my all than do the best I can and discover I still can't make it.  I know what I believe about God, but I'm afraid to share or speak up because I don't want to be judged as "intolerant" or face questions I can't answer, so I let life-saving opportunities to share the love of God pass me by.

Most, or even all, of these fears are ones we have faced in our lives.  I know all of these are ones I have experienced myself... and at least once I have given into all of them.  As a Christian, I know that God "has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end" (Ecclesiastes 3:11).  Yet, I live with this finite perspective left over from the fall of men, where I think, "The length of our days is seventy years-- or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away" (Psalm 90:10).  I often live trying to reduce that trouble as much as I can, though I have "eternity set in [my] heart," and should have a perspective of how trouble now can mean joy later for me and even many beyond my lifetime.  

For example, I am what you would call a "second career" church worker.  I started out studying in a completely different field with a completely different set of life goals in mind.  By the time I realized I wanted to enter church work... I was a senior in college with a semester of school left.  I had already accumulated my school debt from studying abroad my junior year.  I was fully trained to enter the workforce, except for a few minor, core credit requirements I needed to complete my final semester.  The church work college I needed to go to was expensive, and there were essentially no scholarship opportunities available going into that program as a graduate student.  As a natural long-term planner (i.e., someone who deeply fears the unknown and attempts to plan their whole life before they enter high school), I was standing on the precipice.  Would I follow the fear... or the calling God had set before me?

In Psalm 77:19(NIV), the psalmist writes about God, "Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen."  The psalmist wrote this reflecting about when the Israelites left Egypt, a land in which they had been enslaved, and found themselves on the edge of the Red Sea with no way to cross.  Behind them came the entire Egyptian army at a time when Egypt was one of the premier world powers, and they were not coming with boats... they were coming with swords to destroy and enslave once more.  The Israelites were trapped.  Many of them reacted in fear.  God had promised to their ancestors He would be faithful to their descendants and had delivered them from the hand of Pharaoh, the most powerful man in the known world, with miracles they could not even have imagined... but that's hard to remember with a sword at your back and no way to escape.  What did God do?  He drove the waters apart to create a path to the other side of the Red Sea.

"Your path lead through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen."

How often in your life have you faced that, a moment of decision... when the "footprints" of God were unseen?  So many, I would guess... and if you're like me... there are so many ahead.  Yet, He is there, isn't He?  As the Israelites crossed between the parted sea, they were following a path God had opened for them.  As they traveled forward, behind them God stood as a pillar of fire, blocking the pursing Egyptians so they could not overcome the Israelites before they crossed.  Throughout their journeys in the desert, "the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.  Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people" (Exodus 13:21-22).  God never left His place in front of His people.  

And God never leaves His place with you, either.  Jesus said in Matthew 28:20(NIV), "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."  In Romans 8:9, it says that as a Christian, the "Spirit of God" lives in you, that He "leads" you... and the Spirit of God is not "not a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7).  So though, like through the waters, it may be that God's "footprints [are] not seen," don't live in fear.  He is there; He is guiding you, no matter how desperate the circumstances may seem.  The all-powerful creator of everything is actually living in you. And though, even when you face your fears you may still fail, remember this, "We know that in all things God works for the good of those wholove him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28.)

Psalm 13...

Psalm 13 begins with the verse "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me?"  Not an auspicious beginning, and if you think about it, kind of an arrogant one.  You have David, the man whose very position is his because of the direct intervention of God, questioning God directly.  You have a mere man, who is born and dies within the window of one-hundred years, questioning the God who spoke the entire universe into existence and still holds it together today (Genesis 1-2; Acts 17:28).  I don't know how your superpowers are doing, but I can't even speak my 4-month old kitten into not attacking my shoelaces in the morning.  As the Word says in Ecclesiastes 3:11(NIV) "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."  Mankind cannot fathom all that God has done; yet he seems constantly confident in challenging the all-powerful creator of the universe.  Pick most any significant figure in the Bible, and you're bound to find it somewhere:

1. Adam and Eve - ate the apple in Genesis 3
2. Abram and Sarai (Abraham and Sarah) - they both laughed when God, the creator of everything, said they would have a son together in Genesis 17&18.
3. Jacob - the man God renames Israel and is the one whose sons are the heads of the 12 tribes of Israel physically wrestles against God in Genesis 32.
4. Moses - whines about not being able to speak well when God Himself tells him to go into Egypt and free the Israelites in Exodus 4&5.

The list goes on.  The point I'm trying to make here is that David is not alone in questioning God.  Despite all we know about Him and how He has revealed Himself to us throughout history... we still can't seem to resist questioning His goodness and motives through our words and actions.  I definitely do this on a regular basis.  I seem to constantly fret about how to make ends meet with regard to money.  I used to always worry about my career choices and whether I was making the "right" decisions regarding the career choices I made.  I constantly fear failing at what I'm doing and wonder why God lets things happen the way they do.  I am not unique in this.  No one is.  After all, the figures I named above are among the most well-known in the Old Testament, and they are all on record, in the oldest known written text, for having complained about God, to God, Himself!

Psalm 13 ends with verse 6 "I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me."  Dealt bountifully?!?  David spends most of the psalm complaining about how God was taking so long to deal with the evil men that were defeating him, questioning God's timing and seeming to try and hurry God along.  I don't know about you, but when I do everything I can for someone, giving them my best and being constantly concerned with their needs, and they still complain... it doesn't really motivate me to stick my neck out for them yet again!  Yet God was bountiful in giving good things to David.

And really... He's the same with us.  We have done just as much whining and complaining as David does throughout the Psalms.  We have done things we shouldn't have, said things we shouldn't have, thought things we shouldn't have... and desired things we'd be ashamed for anyone else to know about. Yet God, knowing every detail of how history would play out "sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins" (1 John 4:9-10).  

To conclude... God does not deal with us as we deserve.  Because of Christ, we are able to stand in the presence of God, through prayer, and tell Him what's on our mind.  We are able to bring our fears and worries and stressors and failures to Him... and He does not see them as the irritants we see them.  He desires to hear from us, so as in the words of Paul in 1 Thessalonians 5:17(ESV) "Pray without ceasing."